The 10 Worst Comic Book Movies of All Time!

POSTED BY Chris Rudolph, 10 August 2007

For fanboys nothing can compare to the excitement of seeing your favorite comic book characters brought to life on the big screen, and nothing can compare to the dissapointment of seeing Hollywood rape and strip your favorite comic characters of all that makes them holy. There are very few instances where the stars align, and a good comic book adaptation is produced, but it is more often than not that the product is less than satisfactory. From franchises that became stale with age, to movies that were just plain bad from the get-go, this liste celebrates what gives comic book movies a bad name.

10. Generation X

Now, this is technically a TV movie ... and a REALLY bad TV movie. It originally aired on Fox in 1996, and featured Banshee and Emma Frost as the headmasters of the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. M, Skin, Mondo, Jubilee and Buff and Refrax, two made-for-TV characters because Chamber and Husk's powers were too expensive to film (Read: GHETTO). The plot is lamer than even the worst "X-Men" comic, and features the students fighting Russell Tresh, an evil scientist who used a machine to develop psychic powers. He's kind of like Bill Nye the Science Guy ... but evil.

This was before Marvel started making big-budget blockbusters and decided to focus on TV with movies such as this waste of space, and "Nick Fury" (in which Fury was played by David Hasselhoff. I'll let that sink in for a moment). There is no redeeming quality to this movie. Bad acting. Bad script (there's a Hootie and the Blowfish joke!). Bad everything. Now thanks to the powers of YouTube, the ENTIRE movie is available for your viewing pleasure. So don't take my word for it, go watch an X-Men movie actually WORSE than "X3: The Last Stand."

 

 

 

9. STEEL

It is hard to decide which Shaquille O'Neal movie is worse. "Kazaam" (where he plays a genie) or "Steel" (where he plays a superhero), but since this is a list of movies based on comic books, the decision was made for me, and it looks as if "Steel" won. This movie is based on the DC hero of the same name, who was one of the four Supermen who claimed themselves as the Man of Steel back from the dead after his encounter with Doomsday.

Aside from Shaq's acting, this movie is pretty bad. From the bad script littered with awful running gags to the random cameo appearances (Shaft as Steel's costume designer?) I feel this movie is summed up best by a user comment left on the movie's page on IMDB:

"'Steel'! Oh, yes! This movie is so tough, any movie like 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' will shatter into irreversible broken pieces if dropped on there! Shaq from 'Kazaam' takes center stage in this exciting yet funky action film, and he is here to put the bad guys where they belong -- in the trash!"

Well at least the bad guys will have something to watch because if this movie ever had a home it was in the trash.

 

8. SUPERGIRL

Let's not even discuss the movie .. the trailer has MORE than enough goodness to fill it's own blog! Please watch the trailer for the 1984 BOMB below, and then join the following discussion:

 

 

 

So first off ... wow. Re-watch it. I'll wait.

Some of my thoughts:

-I love the scene when Supergirl flies out of the water with her hair BLOW DRYED WITHIN AN INCH OF IT'S LIFE! When was the last time you jumped out of water with perfectly dry hair?

-Why is she holding a giant electric lollipop?

-Faye Dunaway as the evil villain? She wants to rule the world! Can you imagine living in a world run by Faye Dunaway! CAN YOU IMAGINE? *Shudder*

-Superman gets Lex Luthor and Zod. Supergirl gets ... a rogue bulldozer? And how does she stop it? By flying THROUGH A WATERTOWER? I guess that's why she's Supergirl and not Smartgirl. ZING!

-"POWER OF SHADOW ... DESTROY HER!" You read my mind, Faye. Read my mind.

 

7. ELEKTRA

Now, I love J Garn. I was a HUGE "Alias" fan back in the day, and thought her portrayal of Elektra Nacthios in "Daredevil" really wasn't THAT bad. Then came her own spin-off movie. Woof. This movie, like "Daredevil," is about Elektra overcoming her childhood, and learning to cope and let go ... blah blah blah. Most of the movie is about Elektra's ninja training, and her life as an assassin. The movie ends with her sensei, Stick, telling her "second lives are often better than the first," too bad the same isn't for movies.

 

6. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Once again, Hollywood takes a classic Alan Moore comic and turns it into a major sh*tstorm. WTF? I feel Sean Connery had a hand in it. I heard he turned down playing Gandalf in "Lord of the Rings" to play this role. Thank God! Can you imagine how bad LOTR would've been with Sean Connery as Gandalf. That would've womped hardcore. Speaking of womping, let's get back to "LXG." I feel as if the director of this movie (the same one who made "Blade") decided to fill in plot holes, and all-out lack of plot with CGI and dizzying action scenes. Eh. The result was a movie that hardly made any money, and once again set comic book movies back a few years -- if not decades. At least the next Alan Moore adaptation, "V For Vendetta," was much better (even if it didn't follow the graphic novel to a T), and we can only pray for "Watchmen."

Tune in later this week for numbers 6 through 10 in all of their cinematic glory!

5. Superman IV: Quest For Peace -- (aka: "Superman Episode IV: No Hope")

Uuuuugggghhhh.

I've heard the Superman movie franchise referred to as "a beautiful baby that grew into an ugly adult," and I couldn't agree more. From the first two "Superman" movies which rank among the BEST comic book movies EVER to "Superman III" co-starring Richard Pryor....and then this awful, awful sequel which is just....retarded.

The plot has something to do with Superman wanting to bring world peace by removing all of the nuclear weapons from the earth. Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) returns with his idiotic nephew (Ducky from "Sweet Sixteen!"), and creates a clone of Supes called Nuclear Man. This plot is just plain awful, but let's focus on some highlights:

-The beginning of the movie starts out with a Russian Space Mission going horribly wrong, and Superman flying into space to save them. Note that while he's flying in space his cape is flapping in the wind.....there's no air in space. No air=no wind=no cape flapping.

-The budget for this movie was cut in half literally days before shooting began so notice ALL the scenes of Superman flying through lovely stock footage. And that green tint on his face? No, it's not Kryptonite, it's REALLY BAD green screen reflecting onto his face and costume! I've seen better special effects in "Dr. Who!" This movie is awesome!

- There's a part where Superman rounds up all of the earth's nuclear weapons in a giant net. Yes. A net (!!!???!?!) in space and swings it around and throws it into the sun. I'm not a math whiz or anything but I don't really think any size rope could hold all of the nuclear weapons in the world. That's just my guess though.

- Why is Lois slurring all her lines? Is she drunk? Are her dentures not in all the way? She calls Clark "Smallville", he should call her "Efferdent."

- Watch here to see the pink embryonic birth of Nuclear Man as he explodes from the uterus of the sun (look at those FIERCE gold press-on nails! YOU BETTER WORK!)

 

- Which of the following lines are from "Superman Episode IV: No Hope"

a) "Well, it's common knowledge that you hate children and animals, Luthor!"

b) "You've already broken all the laws of man, Luthor. Now it looks as though you've broken the laws of nature, too!"

c) "If you will not tell me, I will hurt people!"

d) "Well, once more, we survived the threat of war, and found a fragile peace! I thought I could give you all the gifts of the freedom from war, but.. I was wrong. It's not mine to give. We're still a young planet. There are galaxies...out there. Other civilizations for us to meet, to learn from. What a brilliant future we could have. And there will be peace; there will be peace when the people of the world.. want it so badly, that their governments will have no choice but to give it to them. I just wish you could all see the earth the way that I see it...'Cause when you really look at it, it's just one world"

e) ALL OF THE ABOVE

If you guessed E you are correct! What have you won? Well, you didn't win the hour and a half of your life back from this movie, that's for sure!

I could write an entire disortation on how bad this movie is, but you really just have to see it to believe, and I'm just glad they finally learned their lesson and just rebooted the whole franchise twenty years later.

I love this headline though:

 

4. Howard the Duck

In 1986 Lucasfilm helped bring to screen one of comicdom's most favorite characters, Howard the Duck, and what resulted was a critical and financial nightmare. "Howard the Duck" is so bad that not only is it consistently brought up when discussing "Worst Comic Book Movies", but when discussing Worst Movies period. That's how bad it is. This was the first theatrical movie featuring a Marvel character and talk about hittin' the ground running!

The tail (get it?!) of Howard the Duck is the stuff of legend. Lea Thompson ("Caroline in the City" stars=box office gold) stars as a rocker chick (TRIVIA: this role was originally offered to piano siren, Tori Amos) who befriends Howard and assists him on his journey to defeat the Dark Overlord of the Universe. Sounds like a winner, right?

Now, I know what you're thinking...there can be no redeeming qualities to this movie. None. It was panned by critics. No one saw it, but alas there is one beacon of hope. The film ends with Lea Thompson's band performing a song titled "Howard the Duck", and it is kind of catchy (READ: hypnotic). Let's just say that if a band covered it at a concert, my head would explode in sheer disbelief. Watch for yourself below!

 

Ahhh...cinematic glory. Well, hopefully Howard will see his DVD debut sometime in the future (if "Superman IV" got a Two-Disc DVD, why not this lame duck?) so a whole new generation can experience this pain of a movie.

 

3. Fantastic Four (Roger Corman Version)

This movie is so bad that Marvel actually bought the rights back and never released it! We're talkin' about the same company that let "Howard the Duck" and "Captain America" be seen by the general public, so you know this movie is a real class act. Produced by Roger Corman, who has made over 250 B-movies, "Fantastic Four" was originally supposed to be released in 1994, but would sadly never see the light of day, until bootleg copies began to appear online.

The plot is the origin story of the Fantastic Four, and how they go on to fight Dr. Doom, and another villain, The Jeweler. This movie's special effects are so bad they almost aren't even worth mentioning. The Thing looks like rubber....because he is. When Sue Storm turns invisible people can run through her...she's invincible not a ghost. Dr. Doom doesn't look half bad, though he wears a Military-issued blanket as a cape, and the Jeweler...I have no idea who or what he is, and is it just me or does the Jeweler seem a little anti-semetic (his name is the JEWeler after all...)?

I almost feel bad for making fun of this movie because you know they had a budget of like 97 cents, but still, I wasted 90 minutes of my life, there has to be consequences. For anyone who thought the 2005 FF movie was bad, just watch a couple minutes of this and you'll be beggin' for Jessica Alba (and not in a sexual way).

Watch below to see Dr. Doom show off his own version of sign language!

 

2. Catwoman

"White Russian. No ice. Hold the vodka. Hold the Kahlua."

The line of dialog above is when Catwoman goes to a club and orders a glass or milk. A sexy glass of milk (and watch the video below...she doesn't even tip!). She then prances off to do a whiptastic feline dance routine for the club patrons.

This beast of a movie leaves no viewer safe. Your eyes will bear witness to many monstrosities, including a showdown fight with Sharon Stone...sorry...Sharon Stone's stunt double.

This movie has nothing to do with the comics, Halle Berry's character isn't even Selina Kyle, it's Patience Phillips (what is she a soap opera character by day?). The directing is awful, with enough swirling shots to make the "Bourne" movies look like slow period pieces. The writing, the supporting cast, everything. EVERYTHING is spot on terrible. Yet, every time it comes on AMC (American Movie Classics, where else would "Catwoman" be shown?) I cannot help but watch this train wreck.

The movie won four Razzie Awards that year, including one for a well deserving Halle Berry, Worst Picture, and Worst Screenplay. When Berry was awarded the Hasty Pudding award from Harvard, she had to write "I Will Not Do 'Catwoman 2'", over and over on a chalkboard onstage, yet even after that she said she would be open to a sequel if it were to be done right. Stop teasing us, Halle! I hope her superhero days are over because I think even fanboys have had enough of her, especially after her last turn as Storm in "X3."

Catwoman is one of the best comic characters ever created, and when this movie was released Bob Kane must've been spinnin' his grave! Let's just remember Michelle Pfeiffer in leather, and forget this whole mess ever happened.

1. Batman & Robin

TA-DA! The No. 1 Worst Comic Book Movie of All Time is the 1997 masterpiece, "Batman & Robin" directed by the man that single-handedly brought the Batman movie franchise to its knees, Joel Schumacher.

Two Words: Bat Nipples. That's right. I went there. There are so many problems with this movie I don't even know where to begin. Okay, first off, Arnold Schwarzenneger as Mr. Freeze....what? Anyone who has read the comics or at least seen the Animated Series knows that Mr. Freeze is...well he's not Conan the Barbarian. Uma Thurman is pretty good as Poison Ivy, but she couldn't even save this movie. My biggest complaint of the new castmembers is Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Alicia, you're great in "Clueless", but as a caped crusader, not so much. I know this is a small complaint, but she tries to break into the Bat Computer and she does so by guessing the password, and what's the password? "Peg." Yup. A THREE-LETTER PASSWORD to the Bat Computer. COME. ON.

George Clooney is pretty bad as Batman. As Bruce Wayne, he's okay, but as the Dark Knight? Not so much. The costumes...ugh. Like I said before: Bat Nipples, and there's enough crotch shots in this movie to haunt my dreams for a lifetime! What about Alfred dying?! At least he had enough sense to die so if they ever made a fifth he wouldn't have to grace it with his presence. I'm sure in the next movie they would've made him suit up and become Bat-Butler. Don't you go stealin' that idea, Schumacher!

Listen, "B&R" isn't even cheesy funny....it's just plain bad. No getting around it. Joel Schumacher ripped out the hearts of every fanboy with "Batman Fover" and then stomped on them with this piece of trash. I'm so glad that "Begins" came along and rebooted the whole franchise, and hopefully everyone will forget the eye raping this movie was.

Below is a montage of all of Mr. Freeze's STUPID ice puns, and one liners. If you drank everytime he said the word "ice" or "freeze" you'd be wasted in the first twenty minutes...on second thought maybe that's not such a bad idea...