Staff Picks: Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Articles, and Hotlinks on CollegeHumor

A Conversation With My Cell Phone

from Jesse E 10 hours ago

ME: Hey dude what time is it?
...dude!  Time?

CELL: *BING!*Oh hey it's 11:58.

ME: Sorry you're a little dim, what was that?

CELL: I said it's 11:58!  Leave me alone I'm tired, man!

ME: Take it easy, all I said was you're a little dim-

CELL: Well maybe I wouldn't be if SOMEONE didn't forget to plug me in last night!

ME: I already apologized for that.  You know, you used to be able to go, like, three days without charging.  Now you can't make it 24 hours?  You've changed, dude.

CELL: *BING!*YOU'RE the one who always leaves me plugged in for more than the recommended three hours!  YOU'RE the enabler!
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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Audrey

cute college girl
YearJunior
SchoolYale University
Do you legitimately hate anyone?
No, I don't really have time for it. It's just not worth it. However, I'm "not fond" of Rush Limbaugh, Roseanne, and Dr. Phil.
Explain the different forms of to, two and too all in the same sentence:
It's too bad that the two days Connecticut legalized medicinal marijuana didn't seem to appeal to Governor Rell very much.
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Roommate Confessions

Issue 54

from Jeff Rosenberg 13 hours ago

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!

Freshman year, my roommate was such a mooch. At first, I totally didn't mind because she wasn't taking things very often. Then it was like she just stopped buying things for herself and using all of mine. Especially my shampoo. I asked if she was using my stuff, she said yes, and so I asked her nicely, SEVERAL TIMES, to stop. After a while, she just denied using my shampoo, even when it was evident that she was. (Her hair smelled like mine, she was wearing my perfume, and if I had to guess, my deodorant too.) So one day, I bought a brand new bottle of shampoo, only I added red dye and food coloring. Right before that hoe went to take a shower, I gave her one last warning, "Hoe, please don't use my shampoo." To that the hoe said, "OK". B*tch went in Paris Hilton and came out Lindsey Lohan!
Alli T., Indiana University



You're a great roommate, but for no reason at all I try to overdraft you by strategically cashing checks you give me when I think your account is lowest.
Cory, School Not Given

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Ana Hickman is Face-Meltingly Hot

15 hours ago
Ana Hickman is Face-Meltingly Hot

This has been a good week for people that like legs. First Thanksgiving, with big delicious drum sticks, and now Ana Hickman. According to Wikipedia:

"Hickmann was once listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for being "The model with the longest legs", measuring 48" (123 cm) (measured from hip to heel) out of a total height of 73" (6'1"/185cm). Since 2002, the Guinness Book no longer lists this title."

There aren't many models that carry world records for how hot they are. Enjoy!

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Things I Have Always Wondered About Fruit, But Have Never Found Answers To

from Conrad 16 hours ago

1. If a tomato is a fruit, why does it not taste like one?

2. Why is the word fruit used to call someone gay?

3. How do worms get all the way up a tree and into an apple?

4. How does one properly describe the taste of apples?

5. If my mom loves me, why does she always force me to eat apples?

6. she knows why I don't like apples...

7. ...so what if apples remind me of my dad...

8. Physical bruises heal, emotional ones don't.

9. DAD STOP IT! PLEASE PLEASE STOP!

10. NOT THE APPLE SUIT NO PLEASE!

11. I DON'T WANT TO DO THE APPLESAUCE DANCE AGAIN!!!

12. ...sauce...sauce...sauce...I'm apple sauce...

13. How did star fruit end up being shaped like a star?
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Today's BIG Thing

Snoop Dogg Makes Mashed Potatoes

Snoop Dogg makes an appearance on Martha Stewart to learn how to cook Thanksgiving mashed potatoes (and maybe promote his holiday album a little bit). If you get confused, his are the ones with cognac in them, and he's the one with the lady-shaped cognac bottle.

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The Evolution of Your Thanksgiving Break Plans

from Jeff Rosenberg 5 days ago
Freshman Year:

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New Thanksgiving Foods

from Kevin Corrigan 5 days ago
A couple years ago some genius took his chicken and jammed it inside his duck, then he jammed that into his turkey and shoved it into the oven. The result was turducken, the greatest Thanksgiving bird-monstrosity of all time. It's delicious. Here are some other great foods you can make by jamming foods inside other foods.

Cow-Goat-Pig


Cranberry Sauce-Mashed Potato-Yam

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The Night Before Thanksgiving

from Conor McKeon 5 days ago

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving, when all through the town,
Every creature was stirring their mixed drinks around;
The Natties were poured into solos with care,
In hopes that old drinking buddies soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While Mommy and Daddy got ripped outta their heads;

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Cute College Girl

Cute College Girls

Bita

cute college girl
YearJunior
SchoolUniversity of Colorado at Boulder
What was your first ever screenname? You don't have to say it if you still use it.
Raspbery10. Every single one of my screen names before high school were food.
Have you ever been grounded?
Yes, when I was nine I pulled my sister's hair and got sent to my room for twenty minutes. But my parents are foreign, they don't know what 'grounding' means.
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